Take This Absurd 5-Part Poker Zombie Apocalypse Quiz

zombie-quizHasn’t the zombie apocalypse already happened?

Yeah, that’s right. Weren’t the most susceptible targets of the infection click-bait headline writers, movie producers, and video game executives? It did something to their brains like make them lose independent thought and follow pop culture fads.

Or does it just feel that way?

The science behind a real zombie apocalypse

For all the sensationalism and fiction the most disturbing part of the zombie phenomenon is that there’s actually science behind things like parasites and nanotechnology that would result in zombie-like humans.

Toxoplasma, a naturally-occurring microscopic parasite, that understand neuroscience better than we do.

It somehow rewires the brains of rats to make them lose their fear of cats. The goal of the parasites is to get the rats eaten so they can reproduce inside of cats’ stomachs, which for some bizarre reason is the only place they can reproduce.

Isn’t that mind-boggling?

We’ve already got zombie parasites inside of us

The craziest part is that toxoplasma is living dormant inside an estimate 1/3 of the world’s population as dormant brain cysts. It’s like a stopped time bomb that’s already at its destination.

All it takes is an evolving mutation for toxoplasma to decide it needs the challenge of the human brain and stomach rather than cats and rats.

It hasn’t happened… yet!

Let’s get ridiculously carried away and pretend it’s imminent. I’m breaking the most plausible zombie apocalypse scenario yet!

The real source of infection would be poker!

poker-zombie-apocalypse-15
Poker-player vampires? So 2009. It’s all about the toxoplasma-infected poker zombies these days.

Where is the mutated toxoplasma going to enter the human system? The drinking water supply? Paper money? Biological warfare?

Get real! Infected poker chips at the WSOP!

Think about it:

Some of the symptoms of the rare human form of mad cow disease include:

  • Dementia
  • Psychotic behavior
  • Difficulty walking

Sounds a lot like a zombie… and some poker players, too.

Mutated toxoplasma could effectively hide among the poker population and spread because no one would notice the difference between a demented, psychotic, antisocial zombie and Will Kassouf.

Poker players are sitting for extended period of time so no one would even know if they couldn’t walk!

Don’t give up hope, though, poker fans! Just be prepared and you’ll stand a great chance of surviving the inevitable poker zombie apocalypse.

Test your field knowledge right here:

Poker Zombie Apocalypse Survivability Quiz

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